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fh_fic2006-03-21 12:00 pm
janet_fraiser) wrote in fh_fic2006-03-21 12:00 pm
Entry tags:
Fandom SGC (1/?)
Fandom SGC (1/?)
aka Another Future Crackfic
Disclaimer: No one's characters used with permission. Are you shocked? No? Good. I blame Bridge and Samilod for this one. They encouraged me. Feedback, please?
***
"You've got to do something, sir," said Carter.
Jack looked up from his neverending pile of paperwork and squinted at her. "What do I have to do something about this time?"
"It's Janet." She ran one hand through close-cropped, graying hair.
"What'd Doc Fraiser do this time?" asked Jack, sighing and giving up on paperwork for the moment. He rested his chin on his hand and stared up at Carter while she was talking. Ever since Doc Fraiser, Carter-the-Younger, Kawalsky, and Lizzie Weir had graduated from that damn high school, gone to college, and then been whisked back to the SGC to help solve the most recent crisis, things hadn't been the same.
Even if Daniel had managed to die at least three times in the past month. Some things never changed.
"SG-3 all came running out of the infirmary. They were terrified for their lives."
Jack chuckled. "Oh, that wasn't Doc Fraiser. That was that assistant she hired."
"The Tyler girl?" Carter shook her head. "She seemed normal enough."
"Tyler's kinda freaky, Carter," said Jack. "Talks to inanimate objects. Does weird things for no reason whatsoever. Though I suspect that tucking dollar bills into SG-3's skivvies while Fraiser gave them physicals wasn't exactly for no reason at all."
"You knew!" Carter dropped her hands to her side and clenched them into fists. "Sir! And you let me go on about--"
"Half of our new recruits were in there egging her on," said Jack. "I swear, Hammond and I are gonna have a little talk. We've got no military discipline around this place any more."
"Lieutenant Sun, reporting as ordered, sir," said a sharp, precise voice from the doorway. A dark-haired woman with her hair up and not an inch of clothing out of place stood there, at attention.
"None?" asked Carter, glaring at Jack before she turned to Aeryn. "Lieutenant Sun, welcome to the SGC."
Aeryn's eyes widened. "Sam? But you're--"
"--not the same Sam you went to school with," said Carter. "She's stuck in the lab for now."
"With Crichton," added Jack. "Coupla geeks. I gave 'em a whiteboard and two full sets of multicolored markers. Told 'em I expect to have the secret of generating a stable wormhole on our own within a year."
"Yes, sir, I'd been informed John Crichton had been stationed here--"
"As a civilian contractor," interrupted Jack. "Because I'd been informed that if we tried to recruit him as a military officer, the frat regs would be broken with terrifying regularity."
A small smile played around Aeryn's mouth. "I see, sir," she said.
"Ah!" Jack shook his finger at her. "I gave him a signing bonus because Carter-the-Younger told me he was a genius and Doc Fraiser vouched for him too. But I'm not assigning him to an SG team. It'd be too confusing."
"Sir?" Aeryn looked confused.
"You and Lieutenant Mitchell are going to be on SG-1," said Jack. "At least this way I can tell the two of them apart. Crichton wears civvies--and a lab coat if he remembers--and Mitchell gets stuck in olive drab with the rest of us soldiers. So, Sun, both of the Carters tell me you're a pilot?"
"Yes, sir," said Aeryn, nodding once.
"Good." He waved her away. "Go out there and pilot something, then."
Aeryn saluted and left.
"Ah, young love," said Jack.
"Janet did tell me that Aeryn and John are pretty gone on each other," said Carter.
"I'll send 'em off on some offworld missions together every once in a while," said Jack. "She and Mitchell need some practice riding herd on scientists anyway."
"You wouldn't!" exclaimed Carter.
"I would," said Jack. "I'll send that other kid out too. What's his name? The one that doesn't have a last name." He tapped his pen on the desk, trying to remember.
"Jarod, sir?" asked Carter.
"We'll throw him out there too," said Jack. "Kid's entirely too full of himself. It'll do him good to run into trouble offworld."
"He can apparently be almost anything," said Carter, collapsing into a chair in front of Jack's desk without bothering to wait for permission.
"In other words, he's a know-it-all," said Jack. "Who needs some experience to season him up. So he's going off-world with Sun and Mitchell riding herd on him, and without his girlfriend."
"General O'Neill, sir!" Walter rushed in, clipboard in hand. He looked slightly out of breath.
"What is it, Walter?" asked Jack, only sounding slightly impatient. It was early yet. There was plenty of time to get even more impatient.
"There's a problem," he said. "Offworld."
"Great," muttered Jack. Sam shrugged and stood with him. "Just what we needed."
aka Another Future Crackfic
Disclaimer: No one's characters used with permission. Are you shocked? No? Good. I blame Bridge and Samilod for this one. They encouraged me. Feedback, please?
***
"You've got to do something, sir," said Carter.
Jack looked up from his neverending pile of paperwork and squinted at her. "What do I have to do something about this time?"
"It's Janet." She ran one hand through close-cropped, graying hair.
"What'd Doc Fraiser do this time?" asked Jack, sighing and giving up on paperwork for the moment. He rested his chin on his hand and stared up at Carter while she was talking. Ever since Doc Fraiser, Carter-the-Younger, Kawalsky, and Lizzie Weir had graduated from that damn high school, gone to college, and then been whisked back to the SGC to help solve the most recent crisis, things hadn't been the same.
Even if Daniel had managed to die at least three times in the past month. Some things never changed.
"SG-3 all came running out of the infirmary. They were terrified for their lives."
Jack chuckled. "Oh, that wasn't Doc Fraiser. That was that assistant she hired."
"The Tyler girl?" Carter shook her head. "She seemed normal enough."
"Tyler's kinda freaky, Carter," said Jack. "Talks to inanimate objects. Does weird things for no reason whatsoever. Though I suspect that tucking dollar bills into SG-3's skivvies while Fraiser gave them physicals wasn't exactly for no reason at all."
"You knew!" Carter dropped her hands to her side and clenched them into fists. "Sir! And you let me go on about--"
"Half of our new recruits were in there egging her on," said Jack. "I swear, Hammond and I are gonna have a little talk. We've got no military discipline around this place any more."
"Lieutenant Sun, reporting as ordered, sir," said a sharp, precise voice from the doorway. A dark-haired woman with her hair up and not an inch of clothing out of place stood there, at attention.
"None?" asked Carter, glaring at Jack before she turned to Aeryn. "Lieutenant Sun, welcome to the SGC."
Aeryn's eyes widened. "Sam? But you're--"
"--not the same Sam you went to school with," said Carter. "She's stuck in the lab for now."
"With Crichton," added Jack. "Coupla geeks. I gave 'em a whiteboard and two full sets of multicolored markers. Told 'em I expect to have the secret of generating a stable wormhole on our own within a year."
"Yes, sir, I'd been informed John Crichton had been stationed here--"
"As a civilian contractor," interrupted Jack. "Because I'd been informed that if we tried to recruit him as a military officer, the frat regs would be broken with terrifying regularity."
A small smile played around Aeryn's mouth. "I see, sir," she said.
"Ah!" Jack shook his finger at her. "I gave him a signing bonus because Carter-the-Younger told me he was a genius and Doc Fraiser vouched for him too. But I'm not assigning him to an SG team. It'd be too confusing."
"Sir?" Aeryn looked confused.
"You and Lieutenant Mitchell are going to be on SG-1," said Jack. "At least this way I can tell the two of them apart. Crichton wears civvies--and a lab coat if he remembers--and Mitchell gets stuck in olive drab with the rest of us soldiers. So, Sun, both of the Carters tell me you're a pilot?"
"Yes, sir," said Aeryn, nodding once.
"Good." He waved her away. "Go out there and pilot something, then."
Aeryn saluted and left.
"Ah, young love," said Jack.
"Janet did tell me that Aeryn and John are pretty gone on each other," said Carter.
"I'll send 'em off on some offworld missions together every once in a while," said Jack. "She and Mitchell need some practice riding herd on scientists anyway."
"You wouldn't!" exclaimed Carter.
"I would," said Jack. "I'll send that other kid out too. What's his name? The one that doesn't have a last name." He tapped his pen on the desk, trying to remember.
"Jarod, sir?" asked Carter.
"We'll throw him out there too," said Jack. "Kid's entirely too full of himself. It'll do him good to run into trouble offworld."
"He can apparently be almost anything," said Carter, collapsing into a chair in front of Jack's desk without bothering to wait for permission.
"In other words, he's a know-it-all," said Jack. "Who needs some experience to season him up. So he's going off-world with Sun and Mitchell riding herd on him, and without his girlfriend."
"General O'Neill, sir!" Walter rushed in, clipboard in hand. He looked slightly out of breath.
"What is it, Walter?" asked Jack, only sounding slightly impatient. It was early yet. There was plenty of time to get even more impatient.
"There's a problem," he said. "Offworld."
"Great," muttered Jack. Sam shrugged and stood with him. "Just what we needed."